02 November 2002

Living a Contradiction

Strange dreams again tonight: very unsettling. Fits my mood these days though. Not that I’m unhappy, I’m just not quite sure where I am. I want a job, but I enjoy not having one. I like the cold weather, but I get annoyed when I have to turn the heat on. And being home these past few days has just reminded me that I don’t really live here anymore and have to face up to the fact that I have to start considering myself to be an adult. But I don’t feel like one, so I’m caught in this battle over wanting to be a real person and have a routine and wanting to just cruise along with no direction. Oh I’ve gone crosseyed thinking about it. Bugger.