If there hadn’t been other people around, I would have cried. I just read Wired News’ coverage of the “Star Wars Kid.” I’m loathe to admit that my maturity level has reached a point where I can’t find some things funny. Sure, watching what I’ve seen of the movie, I admit that it’s hilarious. But then I read about the kid. He had to drop out of school because everyone made fun of him. The entire world has seen this video. (Capsule: fat kid isn’t very popular. For some reason, films video of himself practicing lightsaber moves. Four kids find video, put it on internet. Kid is humiliated: finishes school year in psychiatric school.)
We’ve all done things that we’d be embarrassed to have other people see. And in a way I support calling people on stuff because having thick skin is important in life. But teenagers are insecure and they think they’ve got a lot more figured out than they ever really do. Most importantly, they don’t quite know what to write off and who to disregard. And you know a lot of them do as a result? They kill themselves. I was a nerd in high school and I felt the pain of not being cool. When people made fun of me behind my back, I figured it out. And it hurt. My God! How hard must it be to be a gay and in high school?
The Internet is Shit claims that the web has died and that dorks need to shut down their weblogs and get lives. “Norms” don’t understand how hard it is to be different. Tom Coates puts it very well:
Gay teenagers are two to three times to attempt suicide and two to three times more likely to succeed - and why? Because they think they’re completely alone in the world and they have no way of connecting with other gay teenagers. Over the last few years that’s all changed - I’ve seen it happening. Gay teenagers are exploring over the internet first - they’re finding other people like themselves, getting advice and support and connecting to a wider community. Hopefully the result will be less death, less depression and less wasted years.
And here are some other reasons why the internet is not shit and why virtual community is not dead: alcoholism, disabilities, addiction, mental health, prostate cancer, teen health…
What Andy Beio has done for the Star Wars Kid proves the point. As a nerd, I’m the first to admit that dorks should get out and see the world more often. But at heart, a nerd is a nerd, and needs others like him to discuss comic books and video games. Donations from empathetic souls haven’t changed the fact that the Star Wars Kid was humiliated on a global scale, but they have shown him that the cool kids at his school aren’t the only people out there.
Getting picked on sucks, but it’s sadly just the way it is. All I want is to hear people say, “that’s not okay” from time to time. The usual reaction when people hear an uncomfortable conversation is to stay quiet. Don’t. I have no idea where the notion came from that being non-confrontational was a good thing. Confront. Speak softly and explain calmly. Stick up for people.
High school ended for me and when I started college I rebuilt my life the way I wanted it to be. I found a place where I felt accepted. I think I’ve made a good life for myself and I’m generally happy with it. But, like the worn part of the inside of my lower lip brought by years and years of saxophone practice, the scar of being unpopular will never heal. I’ll always be a nerd, and I’ll never be normal. And I’m happy for that. I’m stronger, and I’m proud of who I am. But not everyone has a neurochemistry that keeps them happy most of the time. Not everyone has supportive parents like I do. And not everyone survived high school.
I wish I had the words to inspire geeks like me to suck it up. Life keeps on going. What’s the most important thing about graduating high school? Everything wipes clean. The day you start college you realize that no one around you knows who you are. When they meet you, they get to know the person you are. They haven’t grown up with you and they don’t know about your awkward adolescence. The problem with high school for me was that once you get cast into a role that’s how people know you. In college, the person they met now was the real me. Wargamer? Yup. Comic book reader? Yup. Someone worth knowing? Nerd? Damn right.