Having seen the other movie about people rising from the dead this weekend, I realized that our society is dangerously unprepared for zombie attack. When Independence Day came out, a slow news week resulted in a story that the United States government had no plan in place for how to handle an alien invasion. That’s right, were the planet to be invaded by aliens or overrun by the living dead, our government would just be improvising.
With this in mind, it will be very important that we surviving citizens have our heads in the game while FEMA figures out what to do. Zombie movies teach us that not only will we be fighting against scores of walking corpses, but also against power-hungry alpha males who will screw over small groups of survivors at the earliest possible opportunity. This can be prevented, but Americans must be prepared. What we need is a basic understanding of government so that we’ll be able to rule ourselves as we move from refuge to refuge, first in small packs and eventually, God willing, in small communities which will be responsible for rebuilding human society once the zombies have all been rounded up and burned.
At the first calm moment, the group should be called together to agree on the rules. Since anyone could be eaten by the undead at any moment, leadership will be important but fleeting. As such, government should be simple and justice harsh.
I propose the following rules for government:
- All Living People shall be free to do anything they please, except to cause harm to another Living Person.
- Anyone who has been bitten by a zombie or accused of such shall be confined to a secure, guarded cell until such time as:
- He has survived long enough, as determined by a majority vote, that it is unlikely he has been infected,
- He dies and rises again as a zombie, or
- He dies and does not rise again.
- Any Living Person who becomes a zombie shall be killed immediately.
- Punishment for all crimes shall be exile.
As you can see, Article 1 defines the law of the land, and there is only one crime: harming another person. (This is the “Harm Principle” espoused by John Stuart Mill.) Passive actions like leaving gates unlocked obviously lead to harm and as such are illegal. If a loved one gets bitten by a zombie, it can be tempting to conceal that bite from the rest of the group. As this will inevitably case the group harm, concealing a zombie bite is also illegal under Article 1. The Harm Principle also protects innocent citizens from attack or rape by others in the group.
As it is quite possible that members of the group will get bitten by the undead, Article 2 requires that they be quarantined for the safety of the rest of the Living until they’re sure the accused is not going to become a zombie.
Inevitably someone in the group is going to turn. Article 3 reminds everyone that the zombie is no longer the person it was and should be dealt with quickly.
The government structure is simple to allow maximum freedom for everyone. Only those laws that are absolutely necessary are in place, and as such must never be broken. Per Article 4, the only penalty for breaking a law shall be exile. The severity of such a punishment should communicate how important it will be for everyone to adhere to the law. The group’s life will often depend on being able to trust each other to keep them safe.
This set of laws will serve populations of any size long enough to get them to safety, meet up with other groups, and establish secure settlements. Once a sufficiently large population has been gathered it may abandon Article 4 in favor of a court system with more than one type of punishment. The ideal way for them to do this will be to create laws as if under a Veil of Ignorance. This theory of John Rawls dictates that people framing a government should create laws without knowledge of the demographics of the society they’re going to be living in so that all laws are equitable for all people. Indeed, they will have no way to know what their own population will be like, as new survivors will be showing up constantly, changing the makeup of the society daily.
With a little preparation and good leadership, we’ll get through a zombie attack with our BRAAAIINS intact.