06 November 2003

Interpreting Friendster Photos

Funny: The Buttafly Guide to Interpreting Friendster Photos.

Also funny: An Ode to Friendster.

[…] more important than the prose of my acquaintances’ bios were their pictures. One of the things that you will quickly realize is that a picture really is worth a thousand words, and this is never more true than on Friendster. Many of the users need not even waste their efforts typing their bios. Their photos speak the loose string of misspelled words and expletives for them. One could guess that PoisonSexy, who chose a photo in which she’s wearing a leather bustier that emphasizes the indecipherable tattoo on her chest, lists only “PARTAYing, chillin, porn” under interests. And it’s not necessary to read the Relationship Status line to know that the 30-something-year-old man dressed as a robot is “single.” The picture of the fat girl kissing her somewhat attractive friend sends the message loud and clear, “I may be obese, but at least I’m bisexual, and that’s hot, right?” And the countless women who post photos of themselves in bikinis that are smaller than an eye patch don’t even need to write the words, “I will do pretty much anything if you’ll just pay attention to me.” … About every five minutes you’re on this site you’ll find yourself thinking, “Who the hell is friends with these freaks?” And that, in a nutshell, is the beauty of Friendster. Because the answer is always, “MY friends.”